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There is pretty much no point to this page. This is what you'll find here:
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I don't know anyone famous. I'm certainly not famous in my own right. So I've compiled this list of true but very unimpressive claims to fame. If you can think of as many claims to fame as I did, well, then, you're just as much of a nobody as I am!
10. My freshman room mate in college went to high school with Tori Spelling.
9. My freshman room mate in college (yes, the same one) grandmother's house was used for exterior shots of Doogie Houser's house.
8. I grew up across the street from the Nabisco Corporation HQ. Check the package of your Oreos, and you'll see my hometown- East Hanover, NJ.
7. There is a park in my hometown named after my great uncle, Joseph G. Lurker.
6. My sophomore through senior room mate in college knows Madeline Kahn.
5. I used to babysit for a family who lives across the street from Bruce Hornsby's parents.
4. The choir director at my church once interviewed Billy Joel.
3. Chelsea Clinton has eaten several times at the restaurant where my husband is a chef.
2. I have been in the same room with George Bush, Bill Clinton, and Hillary Clinton.
And my number one claim to fame is...
O.K., I only have 9. Man, how embarrassing...
Caution: This story may offend those with delicate sensibilities, or a fear of insects. It doesn't contain any sex, profanity, or violence. It's just wierd.
During my senior year in college I took a course in entomology. In one laboratory exercise, we were supposed to learn that flies use senses in their feet to let them know if they are standing on something. If their feet aren't in contact with something, they start to fly so as to prevent dropping like a stone. To demonstrate this principle, we each took a drop of glue (or maybe it was wax), and put it on the backs of these huge grey and back flies, which the professor had lovingly raised up from maggots, rearing them on rancid liver. Anyway, we then attached a piece of string to these flies, sticking one end of the string in the glue (or was it wax?). Then, after it dried, we put the "sensors in the feet" principle to the test. Lift the fly off the counter using the string, and it starts flying, even though it can't get beyond the confines of the string. Set the fly down on anything, and it stops trying to fly.
Well, after lab, the professor said we could keep our flies if we wanted. Some rather dimented souls in the class chose to let go of their flies and watch them fly around the lab room trailing their strings. I chose to bring my fly back to my dorm, much to the chagrin (but not to the surprise) of my room mate.
The fly lived for a several weeks. Eventually it grew on my room mate. It was quite a converstion piece at parties! We named it Bubba, although we never knew if it was male or female. We fed Bubba sugar, and gave him (her?) water in a paper towel. He had quite a long length of string, which was tied to the TV antenna, so he flew around a bit. All in all, I really liked having a pet fly.
The End
Nah. On second thought, I think I'll skip this. It's been done...
part one
Did you hear about the guy who had the entire left side of his body amputated?
He's all right now...
part two
Did you hear about the guy who had a horse's heart transplanted into him?
He's in stable condition...
part one
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
part two
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Beacuse it was stapled to the first one.
part three
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Peer pressure
Roses are red.
Violoets are blue.
I'm schizophrenic.
And so am I.
Please don't send me e-mail about what a tragic disease schizophrenia is. I do not mean to belittle the plight of the mentally ill. It's just a joke.
Note: This trick is not fool-proof. It works about 90% of the time. But it's neat.
1. Pick a number between 1 and 10.
2. Multiply the number by 9.
3. Add together the digits.
[For example, if your number is 30, you get 3. If your number is 52, you get 7. Get it?]
4. Subtract 5.
5. Figure out which letter of the alphabet corresponds to your number. [1=A 2=B 3=C and so on]
6. Think of a country which begins with that letter.
7. Think of an animal whose name begins with the last letter of your country.
Click here for the gag.
As far as I know, all of these are copyright free. Help yourself if you see something you like. If these guys are frozen, try hiting reload. Or, right click on one and select "view image." This will let you see that one all by itself, and the animation usually works better that way.
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